Over the weekend, I'm riding with my Love and we're talking about various situations in life. Ongoing things and things that have happened. How we're planning on handling all of the things pending at this time.
He, per his usual said something that made a lot of sense. Gave me some good advice on how to handle things. It basically resulted in me being more concerned about myself and less concerned with those outside of a few people. It also comes down to being more selfish. I had to sit and think about it last night.
As we were talking, I mentioned that women are socialized differently. We're in the club of service and giving and sacrifice. We've seen our mothers and aunts do it. We herald all the women and elevate those who dedicate their lives, time and resources fully to others. If that's what you're called to do, there's no shame in it. Own it.
However, while it may be something you're called to do, there's a point when you have enough and it's time to turn the work, the charity, the understanding, the giving and the sacrifice back into ourselves. It looks like someone asking for help and you politely refusing (and not feeling badly about it). It looks like making hard decisions in favor of yourself and well-being (and not feeling guilty about it). It's about making changes, moves and decisions that appear selfish to others - mostly because they cannot benefit directly or because they believe whatever that thing is you provide to their lives - there will be less of it.
But being selfish is more about love here. Self love. The love paving a path allowing you to follow your dreams and live your life as unencumbered as possible. It's the motion to do everything you can so you're the one who finally reaches her goal.
Note: Thinking of and making moves to better your life, improve your circumstances and create the moments that make you happy are NOT selfish. We've often been conditioned to believe we're wrong when we aren't handing over our last dollar or at the beck and call of loved ones and family. While there may be some guilt involved (could be a lot before you get over it), it doesn't make thinking of yourself, doing for yourself wrong. No one benefits if you're not performing at your best. I'd like to add, along the path of growth, you'll quickly learn to discern who needs help, when and why. Your nos will be nos and your yeses will be solid yeses.
It's these sort of Sundays and moments that change courses for the better. Those come to Jesus meetings our loved ones give us. Here's to those we love who encourage us to be our best selves, who don't buck at the idea of us having the best life.
While I cannot speak for God directly, there's something to be said for the art of self-preservation. I mean, I can't exactly do everything I'm called to do if I'm stretched out all the time or down-trodden because I'm not looking after myself.
Goal for the remainder of the week (life): Be more selfish.