It's August and with that, we're well over half of our year. I'm not sure about you, but I don't know where the time has gone. Truly. I turned 40, started a new job, have been working on the book and here we are - at August.
I happen to love August. A couple of my favorite people on the planet made their earthly debuts this month so it holds a special place in my heart for those reasons. Lately though, I've been feeling like things were shifting and changing. In a good way - nonetheless still shifting and changing. I'm sorting through photos and high-fiving some of them (like this one) and upset with others but that's the nature of things. 100 photos and more than likely I only *love* five.
Let me get to the point.....
I'm tired. I had submitted this to an art show and they rejected it (their loss), but titled it "Bending Over Backwards" and well - it's relevant.
I've reached a pinnacle, a nirvana of sorts where I'm not about to add all of this effort for things I don't want to fucking do. If I want to do it great. If I don't want to do it, I'm not doing it unless 1) God says I need to do it 2) It's a life or death matter 3) I realize it's a necessary evil for reaching a desired goal.
I've also given up attempting to please people as a general rule. Why? Well, most people are never happy. It's best to find people who think you're amazing (and not in a yes-person sort of way but in a hey you're awesome and I love you but I'll still tell you when you're fucking up sort of way).
That pretty much sums it up. This is what happened when I reached a certain point in my life. I can't even blame it on an age. I've had enough of the bullshit and the whole bending over backwards business gets old. Very old. You end up tired and worn with nothing to show for it.
These days, I'm all about the return on investment (even if it's intrinsic value) and sometimes having something to show for all of the work, the effort, the tears, the time and the effort I've been putting into place. I can't and won't discourage you from doing from others - in fact I highly recommend it. I just say there comes a point when you need to work things out in favor of your own life. Or at least that's the narrative I've advised myself lately.
The people, moments and things that matter most to me are what I'm focusing on these days. I can say with age, some sort of honing device kicks in because I've realized there might be less time than before, there might be less time with the people and the moments I want to hold close. That's enough of an alarm for me.
I happened to talk with my godmother today and as always she imparted some real wisdom. Hers is the kind of wisdom that has me taking notes and changing the current state of affairs. She always brings things into perspective and I'm thankful for it.
Special note: this is my year to get my shit together.
Remember, it's your life to live and create. Your moments to spend as you choose. Choose wisely.
What's important to you? Who matters the most to you? What are the most important moments for you? Are you looking forward to something? Looking forward to a moment? How's your year been? Planning for 2016?